Organised Chaos

Tis the season to get married...

2011-08-08T01:09:00.000+01:00

Marriage mystery...

Two people stand in front of family and many of their friends.

Before the priest/magistrate/officer of the land/God.

And give themselves to each other.

Forever. (I'm leaving the D-word out of this...)

I don't understand the leap that gets you to that place. It scares, excites and astounds me.

I'm not in that place yet

I enjoy celebrating with friends and delight in the love that they share :)
It's simply that I don't quite 'get it'!

The thing that I've come to realise and understand is that I don't have to.

Because marriage is the place for the expression of two individual's love for one another.

I would be skeptical of anyone claiming to fully understand the complexities of two people's lives being joined together so deeply.

The mysteries which surround marriage as a whole stem from the fact that marriage is an earthly representation of the sacrificial love that exists between Jesus and His people on earth. That He laid down His life for the sake of us. That we as His people would seek to serve Him in love through our lives.

In the same way that husbands are called to give their lives in loving servitude to their wives and wives are called to love and obey their husbands likewise.

It's pretty intense, crazy, cool stuff - as much as I've enjoyed all the weddings this 'wedding season' I'm glad that I have a break for a while! In the meantime here are two of my seasonal highlights...

"Firstly I must congratulate you on getting married..and inform you that statistically you are now sitting next to the person who is most likely to kill you"

- From the mouth of pastors....

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

2011 (ish)

2011-03-19T20:20:00.002Z

Wow, I haven't blogged in 2011, crazy!

My adventures at the end of last year can be seen on my 'OT's in Cape Town' blog if you want to be a stalker.

I should actually also add to a December post to that blog - but can't really be bothered! Those who want or need to know the details about my the holiday in my most recent South Africa experience kinda already know.

I used to write alot on my blog - I used to feel compelled to share.

More importantly I used to set aside time to blog - I'm not sure that I feel many or indeed any of those things anymore.

There is one post which I have referenced quite abit in the past year when I've written blog posts...I am still writing it (on and off)

Its one that I can't decide if I should keep to myself, or share with my whole world (facebook!)

There aren't many options in between....unless I write about Twilight again and get a whole bunch of random and obsessed fans commenting again(!)

And its a slight 'all or nothing' scenario in my head.

So I guess you and I will have to see how that unfolds!

In other news - I am loving to hate the final year of uni...waay to much work for this lazy student to be bothered with!

And I am scared of the responsibility that will come when I graduate - especially if I choose to follow the career path which my degree sets before me.

When push comes to shove I know I'll be fine and get on with it, I'm just not relishing the thought of 'the real world'

That's all for now, I'm sure essay boredom will inspire me to greater heights sometime soon :)

Peace out x

Afterthought

2010-08-10T23:02:00.004+01:00

And the whole 'i will blog once a month' initiative failed because I lack consistency in most organisational areas of my life.

Oh who am I kidding!?

I lack consistency, and self control.

They aren't easy skills to find once you let them slide...and I definitely never even possessed time management skills. (I'll argue that that one was genetic though!)

*sigh*

(Don't worry friends I am soon going to hv much more exciting things happening in life and I can stop with all this introversion and self-deprecation :P because I will be too busy to wallow and because I'm going to a place where my faith has tended to enter orbit/be in a more consistent phase....can't wait!)

Beauty

2010-08-06T00:29:00.000+01:00

There is beauty in the victories of love.
There is yet more beauty in the failings of love because if a heart attempted to love sincerely; those who have suceeded must encourage and those who are still in the cold shadows of cynicism are compelled to hold their tongues in the face of the audacity to believe in more.

There's even beauty in the breakdown

Thoughts on New Moon

2010-06-22T14:49:00.000+01:00

There is no denying it, I am an avid Twilight reader and follower!

The stories are among the most addictive I have ever read - and after seeing the first film, there was nothing and no-one that would have been able to stop me from reading the books!

I don't really have a 'team' (but if I had to it would probably be Team Edward...)
I get hopelessly excited about film releases and re-read the books alot.

However, when I do read the books or watch the films I come away from my time engrossed in Bella's world feeling increasingly unsatisfied.

Yes, the enjoyment I experience from the storylines and interplay between the characters is great but I dislike having to come back to earth with a 'bump'

The underlying theme which perpetuates the films and books is one of 'something else, something bigger'

Bella is simply your average, shy 17 year old at the beginning. Torn between states by her parents divorce, an uncomfortable situation known to many.

Then she meets this guy, but not just any old guy. This is Edward - a stunningly beautiful, strong, multi-talented, mature, mysterious guy who happens to be unable to stay away from her.

OK, he does have a desire to kill her, but this only makes the fact that he chooses to love and adore her more attractive.

She finds out who he really is and that she will have to make a choice. She chooses him; becomes embroiled in his love, his world.

They revolve solely around each other - there are very few people whom they interact with - because of Edward's need for secrecy.

Then another guy, one of Edwards family adversaries who reveals his love for Bella and there she has another suitor.

Someone who is strong, protective, warm, loveable, funny, caring, persistent.

At this point, I can guarantee that there are approximately several million girls who want to be Bella - who wish to be loved unconditionally despite their obvious flaws, wrapped up in a mysterious, intense love web; where they have knowledge of what's actually happening whilst all her peers believe lies.

They want their life to be precious to a man who willing to (and can) save her, who is romantic and soulful, who can fight and yet whose world will always and completely revolve around you.

And then, when you leave the cinema or close the book you are reminded that there isn't any such thing as vampires and werewolves. That there isn't an Edward or Jacob waiting for you at home, if there is indeed anyone waiting at home.

That the man that you love will argue without instanteous compromise and forgiveness, that your scent will not be the most potent and attractive thing to them, that your love is highly unlikely to have any supernatural powers or - much less that your man will own a flashy car or have a complete knowledge of engine construction.

And so although I enjoyed the film 'New Moon', continue to engage with the Twilight saga and have those 'I wish I was Bella' moments I'm beginning to get away from the fantasies and fairy tales and into the reality of world.

The reality of compromise, of flaws, of possibilities for failure and unhappy endings.
And in this reality I hope one day to make my peace; if you stay in the fairy tales (especially this one) you can never be satisfied.

I could tell that you wanted to. jump in the pool.

2010-06-22T14:48:00.000+01:00

Missed the first month of my 'I will blog every month' resolution.

Brilliant.

Passed 2nd year comfortably - and an average of a 2:1 (albeit without considering the weighting/credit system...)

Seen Ellie Goulding, John Mayer and Brendan Cole live. True masters of their trades.

Have new fancy insoles to support my feet and get them in a better position when I walk.

Facing the very real possibility of returning to wearing lower leg splints. This will continue to be a big psychological battle for me.

Have a slightly delayed post about the Twilight saga coming up!

Been writing several deeper and more meaningful posts - still - they might be publishable before I turn 22, you never know!

Should really be more motivated to finish unpacking my belongings from uni.

Have just under two weeks til an amazing to see many friends who are very dear to this heart, can't wait.

Looking at the new budget wondering what it might mean for the future of my career, our economy and the nation's outlook on life.

Liking my new blog background lots, hope you like it too!

Peace out x

There's quite a nice view from the cutting room floor

2010-04-18T22:54:00.003+01:00

I'm working on a couple of posts -- have been for most of the year. That sounds crazy I know.

I'm using this blog to reflect on my walk of faith and the things I'm learning. I often use typing words in the 'new post' section as a second journal to help me bash out my thoughts and get some perspective.......not much of this ever gets past the 'delete' button; a lot of my thoughts are not really shareable in this forum -- not for me, not at the moment anyway.

I read a couple of random blogs and am blown away by some people's openness and honesty. Its so refreshing. I hope that someday I'll be able to share so openly about life's struggles - but not today.

So I'll carry on beating at the posts which I want to share......as a testimony - as a reflection - a sounding board for forward thought and new ideas.

I promise to post at least once a month to save this blog becoming even more boring than it already is....2 posts this year isn't exactly stimulating is it!

I might even put some silly stuff in too -- to make up for all the thoughts that hit the cutting room floor

peace out x

Well there's a new name for it

2010-04-18T22:36:00.001+01:00

You Are A Thoughtful Idealist

You have no problem diving into new experiences. You're so brave that you don't even notice how courageous you are.

You don't spend a lot of time thinking about how people see you. You're kind of scared to know what they think.

You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be.

Right now, stress occasionally makes you feel trapped in your life. You usually have a clear perspective on things though!

Overall, your life is calm and steady. Not much stirs you, and each day is full of joy.

You feel like the fate of the future partially rests in your hands. You believe you need to help make the world a better place.

The Castle Personality Test

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

I am still running.

2010-01-08T23:36:00.003Z

Why is it that sometimes I will stare at my computer screen wondering what website I can type in next....that will keep me entertained and amused; procrastinating and distracted..

And I have just realised,
foolishly,
that when I do this I am looking to other things to satisfy me, something to fill a hole in me that no pretty or fun website can actually fill.

No distraction will make me healthier, add hours to the day or help me complete my essay/cleaning/to-do list

So now, I am closing my laptop for the night; acknowledging that I have completely wasted several hours of my day/life and that I need to change.

I am rubbish at time management; as anyone who knows me will have realised. And, unfortunately, most will know it only too well!

This year I vowed to be better with sleep patterns and quiet-times so here I go for take number 9 on this new strategy.

It already feels like take 100!

I am still running.
(that's a pretty gd jon foreman song btw :)....)

God's comma

2009-12-20T00:54:00.001Z

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/12/9-words-that-changed-my-life/

Just a link.

to a brilliant blog post.

God's comma

2009-12-20T00:54:00.000Z

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/12/9-words-that-changed-my-life/

Just a link.

to a brilliant blog post.

Tonight

2009-12-14T02:31:00.002Z

Image courtesy of: http://www.wordle.net/create

Church, God, Ponderings

2009-12-04T22:10:00.000Z

Recently I've had a couple of great, connecting moments with God that have occured while I've been in a church building.

But the trend has become more that I experience God more and more in the everyday moments of life that at random moments I am struck by the sheer complexity, beauty and emotion that is bundled into a situation and God uses those deep feelings and moments of realisation to teach me and draw me closer to Him.

At first I was worried, thinking:
'Shouldn't I really be feeling this in church all the time as well?!'
which got me worrying
you know, I've always been rather loyal to the church simply because I love being in community with people who also love God.

But that's not true because God is everywhere, He is not restricted to the church building.

The wonders of the world we live in have always been there to point out to us humans that there is something beyond the realm of our understanding and consciousness.

God delights in us having fun and longs for us to have a relationship with Him; for Him to be included in every area of our life.

So why should I expect to feel any differently or any better in church than I do just going around my normal life?
Sure, church is a great place to focus my attention on God, to praise Him and reflect on my week....but I can also do that when I'm sat on a park bench watching the world go by.

This was pondered upon by Mark Foreman in his book 'Wholly Jesus' which I am (in the rather slow process of) reading. Who finds exactly that, that he feels closer to God a lot more often when He is staring out over the sea in his hometown than in a stuffy building.

Along with this thinking there is some clarification to do...

Church is a good place to go....we cannot hope to grow effectively in faith and matters of life unless we are in relationships with others....dialoguing, learning, growing close to, holding accountable, being held accountable to others who share our faith (regardless of whether we share the same opinions). There is alot to be said for gathering together and powerful things happen when God mobilises His people.
God IS present when we go to church.
"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." - Matt 18:20
Our faith in Jesus, in God should not be based on some warm, fuzzy feeling. Which is a mistake alot of people make, not least myself, especially in my early years of 'absorbing information' about Christianity (the majority of my teenage years)

Obviously there will be times when life is hunky-dory. Things are beautiful, God is Great! There there are the times when you'd rather crawl under the pillow and pretend you don't exist when someone asks you a tough question. When you scream and kick at God because you don't understand. When it feels as if you are all by your self, He's left you and you are a wretch.

All of these feelings are true and valid, but God is bigger than all of them alot, lot bigger. He transcends time, knowledge and understanding. He never changes
Simply because your church doesn't play the right music, isn't big enough, doesn't use the right words at the right time, or you simply 'don't feel it'
doesn't mean God's not there

I love it when people are open and honest! (well, mostly!)

2009-10-29T00:05:00.001Z

Annnd I have learnt a lot from this article!

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/10/marriage-submitting-forgiveness-and.html

I respect this woman hugely!

Even if you disagree with it in parts I hope you enjoy reading it.

Tell me tomorrow has come

2009-10-18T00:22:00.000+01:00

Soo, life is pretty hectic right now!
But its brilliant at the same time.

Second year of uni has been pretty refreshing so far.

I know my way around, I know who my friends are, I know where my church is, I know who I need to look out for and I know that I'm pretty darn happy with the luxury of space that I have in this student house of mine!

What I'm not so sure about is whether or not I'm dedicating my time in the right places.
I'm very busy - and most of the time its either socialising or work.

Well, in fact, its mostly just socialising!
(But I haven't had any assignments due in yet so thats probably why!)

There's one question that I can't let go of just at the moment:
Am I spending too much time in Christian activities?

Its not that I actively avoid those who aren't Christians.
And I never want to be one of 'those' people..but I do choose activities - which in the most part - involve me interacting with people who have a similar belief system to me.

At the same time as trying to balance out the of the amount of time I spend in different places I am also aware that I am committed to helping out in a number of Christian events etc.

I support a whole realm of people in my roles in various places and would be letting them down if I disappear to spend more time with other people.

I know that it is not necessarily a negative thing to spend my time as I do (if I believed they were completely negative uses of my time I would obviously not be engaging in these activities)
and that I can be a great encourager, helper, friend etc in the roles that I fill.

In essence I want to acknowledge that I spend a lot of time interacting in 'Christian circles' and a similar amount of time having down-time to keep myself energised.
....
and that i'm not so sure how to balance out my time management.

The scary thing about this whole ramble is that it links in scarily well with a branch of thinking in my degree studies/future profession about occupational balance.

As an occupational therapy student/occupational therapist of the future one of the main roles in my job is to advise people on their balance of occupations (what they spend their time doing) and how to incorporate more balance into their everyday lives.

The question that this begs is:
How on earth can I be expected to give advice on something which I am still figuring out myself?!

The answer is (apparently) to be aware of the fact that no one has figured out the perfect occupational balance in their lives and therefore any advice that I give must be respectful of that individual and acknowledge that they may disagree with my opinions on how to enhance their occupational balance.

My personal answer?
Well, I'm not convinced of my own answer yet. Maybe I'll get round to answering that in the next decade or so....cause you know, everything can be figured out if you give it enough time(!)

Ps - I have extremely proficient in the typing of the word 'occupational' over the last 12 months! Can't think why!

The Sweetest Thing

2009-10-05T20:44:00.002+01:00

This one's been a little while coming! Its started with some usual musing on life and love and why and was furthered by Mark Foremans' 'Wholly Jesus' which is a truly interesting and thought-provoking read!

I caught up with a friend around Easter who has met the man that she fully intends to marry - and I'm soo happy for her...she's had some rough times over the last few years - she more than deserves this and furthermore; despite the fact I've never met the guy, I get the feeling this one's here to stay.

Update: They're now engaged!! :)

For me; I am currently single, with no-one on the 'radar' and I'm loving it!
But you know, this doesn't stop the pondering about
'how will you ever know if someone is THE one??'

forgive me for raising such a predictably female topic....but from a just a few experiences in my fleeting 20yrs on this beautiful planet, this is one of those topics that just never leaves us alone.

To be honest, from the various discussions I've had with a number of different people about how you find that one person I've realised that:
sometimes you KNOW
sometimes you reach the conclusion that there's simply no one else you'd rather be with
sometimes you can imagine yourself growing old with that person happily and healthily
and
well..pretty much everything else in between.

Everyone is either discussing, thinking, pondering, arguing, or passing on wisdom about love.

Discussions permeate throughout society, across the globe, crisscrossing cultures; affecting everyone from the richest and most famous to the impoverished individual scraping themselves a living.

Over the centuries an endless number of songs, movies and plays have been written; philosophies theorised, conversations analysed, words agonised over, unions of the purest joy witnessed and heartbreaks of the greatest sorrow endured.

Love is, on some level the lifeblood of every being on this planet

The well being of so many people, at this very moment, is determined by the flow of love between them and others in their lives (or, too many times, the lack of it).

Which leads me to think of the greatest love of my life, the thing that nothing can top -- not even the most loving of husbands..

Ok, so I hear those puzzled looks you're throwing my way!

hold the phone, reeewind, take a breath, explain...

The thing is, even the most romantic of romances, heartfelt wedding vows and greatest physical attraction known to man will eventually be worn down in the everyday-ness of life;
we are after all only human and cannot hope to maintain some sickly fairytale saga going throughout the entirety of our lives...I mean, who would we be trying to kid!?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting married and at this point in my life I would say I would be disappointed not to get married.....but getting married with all its perks and good times does nothing to fill some of those gaps in an individual.

One human simply does not make another human complete..although they can certainly help!

The ultimate fulfillment of our desires is found in the God above who loves us, who sent his son to die for us - anything else that we try to fit in that space will simply never work.

Square peg, diamond -shaped hole sound familiar to anyone?!

In fact - it doesn't even have to be marriage or even the idea of a relationship....

The square peg could include anything from your ambitions and dreams to the salary you long to finally recieve - the paycheck which will end the chase for the next one.

The thing is, none of those square pegs is ever going to be enough.

http://www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/2wtlonline.asp

Drop a heart, break a name

2009-09-01T23:05:00.000+01:00

Why do people put Christians on this pedestal that we are somehow 'better people'?

Why do Christians so often assert themselves in that assumption?

We are no better than anyone else, we simply believe in a grace which covers us in our slip-ups and mistakes.
A grace that Jesus gave to us through his death on a cross.

This amazing grace gift leads us to attempt to not slip-up so often, in humility and awe of the person who extends such grace.

I mean even the 'humility and awe' part is the line we'd like ourselves to believe.

The 'because the rules we've made based on what we should and shouldn't do tell us that we shouldn't' is more commonly what shows through...

Ultimately no-one is perfect, everyone is struggling with something. everyone is confused, everyone messes up.

So lets stop acting like we've got it sorted, that we have a clue about the majority of the grey areas of life and that we are better than others.

And start being raw about the things that hurt us, open about the battles which confuse us and compassionate towards each others mess (commonly known as everyday life.)

In the knowledge that if we lean and trust in the only person who knows all the answers and has our best interests at heart and will get us through.

Because He never changes and He has given us the route to change.

Amazing Grace.

My God is AMAZING

2009-07-30T23:42:00.000+01:00

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”

-Stanley Lanquist

Written on 05/06/09

Tonight my God turned my anger and despair into joy; my turmoil into peace :D

It was one of these muggy twilight early summer evenings I was walking home from the bus stop....full of the memories of a lovely evening and happy to be alive - enjoying not thinking about some of the negative moods I had been in earlier on in the day.

As I cross the road a guy from a taxi yells at me 'you're ugly'

In response I turned around and gestured rudely - I'm not even sure what was going through my head at the time I simply didn't want him to think that he could get away with it.
I think my 'normal' response would have been to ignore him/them...

I spent the rest of the way home being ANGRY
Angry with him - for the spitefulness, disrespect (and a million and one other things that I could angrily mutter) of it.

Angry with myself - for letting it get to me, for actually considering the statement as a possibility and for my reaction. Worrying that I was taking it to heart, thinking about it too much and making it harder to let go of.

Angry about the power of words - because we all pretend that words don't matter, but a word has the power to build up or destroy, no matter how small the word/comment.

As I got closer to home I wouldn't have been surprised if there had been steam coming out of my ears(!) I was glad I retaliated, hurt and very angry.

I thought:
'I'm going to have to remind myself that there's no way I'm ugly.'

So, when I got home I picked up the 'NIV Daily Light' (http://www.eden.co.uk/shop/niv-daily-light-bible-hb-1235451.html) and flicked to tonight's verses which are:

Psalm 103.14
For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 139.14-16
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 78:38-39
Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.

³⁹ He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.

Acts 17:28

'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

Some of you might say that the fact that these verses were relevant and that they spoke to me in a very personal and real way at that particular point in time was a coincidence - but I know that in this case there was no such thing.

I am so grateful that God loves me as His own daughter that I can call Him 'Abba Father' and that He never changes.

He hates it when the children that He loves listen to the other voices that are ever-present in this world.

Whether it is the guy yelling out of the taxi window or an unconscious message hitting you from a billboard that tells you that you need to be like this person/buying something/losing weight to be a 'better person'.

God's gentle whisper is that He loves us, that He created our bodies to be looked after well but not to idolised.

That who we are rather than what we look like/how much we own will always be so much more important, because He sees our hearts rather than the face we show everyone else.

And, most importantly, that He is there for us no matter what.

Sounds crazy maybe, but its true...

Thankyou Lord that I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

I'm trying to listen but

2009-06-24T16:53:00.002+01:00

http://asbojesus.wordpress.com/

Sunny weather and a re-entry to reality!

2009-06-21T17:16:00.004+01:00

So, I have like a million and one posts that I've been writing on and off - but which are still in the draft phase...

Thought I better show my face :P

So, I've finished my first year of uni in early June after 6weeks of hectic-busy placement in the big hospital in Cardiff. It was great fun and I learnt a lot, but am more than happy to have the loong summer holidays ahead...I love being a student!!

I passed this year with an average of 71.25%. Heck yes I did!
Hoping to keep that up next year!!

I love that I've found a course that I love and a city that I love! Who'd have thought it after all that pain and heartbreak when I didn't get the grades I wanted at the end of school!?

What can I say!? the big man upstairs sure has a better idea of what's best for me than I ever had in my stubborn medic dreams!
:D

Now all I need to do is find a job so that I'll be able to keep my head above water next year and enjoy the couple of holidays I've got lined up!

I'll get to those 'million and one' posts soon and put some more deep and meaningful thoughts up instead of this ramble :P

Peace out x

2009-04-30T22:59:00.002+01:00

Today I was blown away by the good nature, go-get attitude, kindness and perseverance of a 96 year old lady

It's not everyday that you get to say that!
:D

Now you know your ABC...

2009-04-25T00:57:00.000+01:00

A is for age: 20

B is for booze of choice: Depends on the night out...either cider or vodka but definitely not together!

C is for career: Occupational Therapist/Missionary/Youth worker

D is for your last dentist appointment: 3weeks ago ish

E is for essential items you use everyday: mobile, laptop, soap

F is for favorite song at the moment: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

G is for favorite games: UNO, Monopoly, Cranium, Tetris..

H is for hometown: Surrey, UK

I is for instruments you play: None, supposed to have learnt piano and trumpet and mandolin in my time, but its been a while..

J is for Jam flavor on your PBJ: Strawberrreee.

K is for kids you last saw: Lotsa kids at my home church.

L is for last kiss: L is for Long time ago...

M is for fondest memory: I have lots....mostly involving family, friends and SA..

N is for name of your crush: Channing Tatum.

O is for overnight hospital stays: Couple here and there when I was a kid. Chest infections, foot surgery etc...

P is for phobias: Wasps and bees, popping balloons, fireworks.

Q is for favorite Quote:
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." -Einstein

R is for biggest regrets: Not currently sure, hindsight will tell me soon I'm sure!

S is for status: Tired and procrastinating.

T is for time you wake up: Depends on the day.

U is for underwear type: Comfy and pretty.

V is for vegetable you love: Peas.

W is for worst habit: Poor time management; staying up late.

X is for x-rays you’ve had: Too many.

Y is for yummy food you make: Lasagna.

Z is for last Zoo visited: London Zoo - coupla years back.

Youth of the Nation

2009-04-20T00:48:00.004+01:00

So, here I am...trying to sum up the events of April 20th 1999 - to be fair, respectful and just; to communicate how discoveries and events since that day changed and influenced my faith in a way that few other people/single events have.

Columbine.
A word laden with connatations, memories, emotion. A marking point in time; an end and a beginning:
The end of the deadliest high school shooting in the States. The end of 15 lives.

2 shooters:

13 victims:

The beginning of a new chapter for grieving families, friends, policing, politics and so many people across the world.

There is an abundance of material which can be read about that day (104,000 hits on Google).

The event grieves me and its not a subject which I can ever brush over...I reflect, wish, cry, get angry, hope...

There is one area of this story which impacts so many that I have found inspirational beyond any other.

It is the life of Rachel Joy Scott.
Her story has provided solace, touched, guided, inspired, motivated and challenged me.

Rachel kept journals, journals which her family discovered after her death and made the decision to share in order to inspire others.

I first read Rachel’s story and parts of her journals on my 13^th birthday. They changed my life.

I was so blown away by how deeply she thought about life, how open and honest she was with God in her journals, the everyday struggles of life which she grappled with and carried on believing anyway.

The way she lived out and stood up for her faith, even when there was a gun pointing at her; simple yet radical.

http://www.rachelschallenge.com/LearnMore/RachelsEssay/tabid/1701/Default.aspx

The vision she had for her life

Many of you will read this and be cynical of the ‘pinning up’ of a young girl in such a way.

You maybe sceptical of the labels but I ask you to look past those things and find out more about the story of a young girl who felt a strong sense of purpose and who lived out her faith in a way that was relevant to the people around her and that changed those who knew her: whether or not they realised it.

It’s not an easy or a popular thing to do and I greatly admire her courage and perseverance.

On a personal level...whilst reading Rachel’s story my 13yr old self longed for the depth of relationship she had found (no where near perfect – but very different to anything I had been striving for..) and began to write my own journals: musing and thoughts, poems and pictures, bible studies and prayers.

Since starting these journals on my 13^th birthday I have continued – at different speeds and in different moods to keep a record of the different ups and downs and seasons of life.

Looking back has been nothing less than completely eye-opening (I was often alot more mature in my younger teenage years than my memory gives me credit for!).

I have also found the journals to be a great way of reminding myself of the goodness of the God I serve, the little things that were so profound but so easily slip from memory can be recalled and rejoiced over.

So, thankyou Rachel Joy for being you. Thankyou for believing and thankyou for the inspiration you’ve given me.

You will never be forgotten, for you have indeed touched millions of people’s hearts.

May angels lead you in.

inspired by.....??

2009-04-16T19:50:00.001+01:00

Inspiration:

–verb (used with object)

1.	to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.

2.	to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.

3.	to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.

4.	to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.

5.	to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

6.	to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence: writings inspired by God.

7.	to guide or control by divine influence.

8.	to prompt or instigate (utterances, acts, etc.) by influence, without acknowledgement of responsibility.

9.	to give rise to, bring about, cause, etc.: a philosophy that inspired a revolution.

10.	to take (air, gases, etc.) into the lungs in breathing; inhale.

11.

Archaic.

a.	to infuse (breath, life, etc.) by breathing (usually fol. by into).

b.	to breathe into or upon.

(Taken from dictionary.com)

As you can see from reading the 11 definitions above inspiration takes a wide variation of forms.

So, how does a person decide what inspires them?
Here's a few thoughts that have been bouncing around:

Life experience; the things that have gone well for them and therefore that they know to be true, or the things that they've never experienced and wish that they had. Therefore causing them to draw inspiration from people who have managed to achieve what they could not.

Individual characteristics and personalities - personality traits shape how a person interacts with their environment and the people around them, it controls their interests and hobbies - how they spend their time and invest their money....so will people with similar character traits inspire someone?

Althought, are there times when someone with a completely different character, personality, outlook and experience of life can inspire someone who is their 'complete opposite' or is common ground essential to inspiration?

An especially challenging or profound event/thought experienced by another individual. In which case, what criteria are used to determine whether that is classed as inspiring.

Or does the reason for inspiration depend on which of the 11forms of inspiration I'm talking about!?

Is inspiration measured in the level of emotion aroused or thought provoked, in the number of tears cried or the number of brows creased into a frown?

For example...
“Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.”
Is this inspirational to you?

What about this.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCwBf9TIaV0

Are there some individuals and experiences that are inspirational to everyone?

If not, why not?

Any thoughts and ideas on this welcomed.....

The Middle

2009-04-12T00:14:00.003+01:00

I have no idea where this came from.....this song randomly popped into my head and I managed to find it on youtube using the only line I could remember.....

Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
when you're away

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright

Hey
You know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in
You live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright

Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on
Just do your best
Do everything you can
And don't you worry about what their bitter heart
are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright

These lyrics reassured me in a very random yet cool way...

:D

In other news - I can now officially eat chocolate after six weeks.....every year I am reminded of the simple fact that I am a chocoholic!!

Enquiring minds

2009-03-29T21:39:00.002+01:00

What if...

If we could shrink the earth's population to precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 8 Africans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south

52 would be female, 48 would be male
70 would be non-white, 30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian, 30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual, 11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition, 1 would be near death, 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education, 1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent. The following is also something to ponder:

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married... you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Touched

2009-03-25T00:08:00.003Z

By this lady's account of her thoughts as she sits by her critically unstable baby's side.

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

I admire her clarity of thought and steadfastness of faith with which she writes; if I am ever in a situation which in anyway resembles her current troubles I hope and pray that my reactions would be in a similar vein.

One of the points that she made about God definitely not being a mathematical equation to be understood was hammered home to me very significantly by a respected pastor and writer.

If you take some time to watch this I assure you, you will not regret it.
Furthermore your mind will be blown away by some of the facts he has to present and the things he has to say!

(If you only have a few minutes to spare part4 is definitely unmissable!)

Part1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1EAmfOu9lE

Part2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE5sF1rdxM4

Part3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuF629DW9kI

Part4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUCJ0HHMSbY

Part5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OoBEV10rjc

My life motto - maybe a little too much :p

2009-03-21T15:38:00.002Z

2009-03-20T00:01:00.000Z

Peace like a river flows through my soul
A never-ending stream which I use to find my way home.

Occasionally I find myself wandering away
from its sun-dappled path.
But some way or another it will always
be found in my heart.

Tradition isn't everything

2009-03-19T13:59:00.004Z

Asked about the criticism, Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said the Pope was "maintaining the position of his predecessors."

This statement makes me angry beyond belief.

In the face of the pandemic of HIV/AIDS tradition needs to be treated with great caution as new medicines, research and preventions become available.

The Catholic Church, and indeed the church in general, teaches fidelity within heterosexual marriage and abstinence are the best ways to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS.

And I agree that these are the most effective ways to stop the spread of HIV
(In fact I personally believe that abstinence and fidelity are the safest and best ways in which to enjoy sex, but that's a whole other debate..) however these two ideals are not the easiest to follow, especially in African cultures where 'traditionally' these values have not been held.

There is no reason that condoms shouldn't be used as a safer alternative, because when they are used consistently and correctly (and thats a much greater 'if' than i think some people realise!) they do prevent the spread of HIV.

The 'hardcore' Catholics would argue that no couple should ever use birth protection as it is wrong to stop the possibility of conception, as that is ultimately God's decision.

However, I disagree on that, especially when it comes to the HIV/AIDS front, a God who loves each of us more than we could ever imagine as I know my God does, does not want his people to suffer.

We suffer because of the consequences of separation from God, that our sin creates and because of a devil who loves to see things go wrong and loves nothing more than seeing a person reject God.

If condoms are a somewhat effective means of protecting an individual from a life shortening, horrible disease I would encourage people to use it. In the same way as I would very strongly encourage people to consult doctors and other medical staff if they were ill.

God is in control, he gave us brains and the innovation and creativity for us to invent and problem solve, he uses things that we view as ordinary and commonplace for his purposes.

My hope, my prayer is that HIV/AIDS education in Africa will be far reaching enough to help people to understand the importance of abstainence and fidelity but also benefits of using condoms and how to use them correctly, I know that this a very, very far off goal, but it is a goal nonetheless.

(And for those of you are rich enough and have enough living space, please enjoy never using birth control won't you....)

Let's re-write an ending that fits

2009-03-13T01:29:00.002Z

So, I've skittering from the old personal post recently because I've not really felt like I've had it in me.
Went one of those more interesting phases of life where nothing fits, the world gets on top of you far too easily and you struggle with yourself.
You continue with all the things that you normally do, apart from maybe one or two...and you pretend like everything is fine - apart from mayb those one or two people that you truly trust with anything..or, more likely, just happen to be in the right place at the right time when you really feel like you're losing it.

So what brought this on?
I don't really know, well I know a coupla things - but it seems like there should have been more elements to my fall in mood really!
In the end it only takes one stumbling block, annoying change or miserable self-deprecating thought to invite a tower of mood-ruining thoughts that you've been stacking up in the bid to bottle up and contain negativity/maintain the running of daily life.

Ultimately, for me, its part of the ongoing aftershock of a life-changing event (SA) that's being somehow expressed through current life events..I could go on for a while as I have indulged in what could possibly be a little too much introspective thought in the past week or so, but won't - for your sanity and mine.

Finally, its the effect of a long term at university in which life has persisted in fits and bursts...not many academic requirements in comparison to last term (although thats all going to change now that I've left my work to the last minute...) and a similar stop-start theme in my social calendar.

I have felt settled through the majority of this term. But now all I have is itchy feet and a disenchanted mindset.

Things have been better in recent days, mostly due to:

Having friends in Cardiff who were in 'the right place at the right time' and were there to share and pray through negative mindsets and issues
Themes running through the different evenings I have attended..hall groups, student group, cu and church youth group (to explore opportunities of leading :D)
Yes, that's a lot of Christian things going down - but it doesn't feel like there's much else going on at the moment to be honest!
Knowing that I can't face going home feeling like this, as it will only marr my time there...and therefore giving myself a stern talking to. (I'll let you know if that one one worked!!)
The impending deadlines which I must finally turn my hand to - and get stressed about because I've left the work to two and a bit weeks beforehand, which will therefore distract me.
Having the freedom to take time out and journal in order fight through my numerous and disorganised thoughts.
Turning up some classic tunes and drowning out my thoughts using whatever crazy self-expression comes to mind!!

Now, I'm not gonna pretend that I'm feeling all better - I remain in a battle with a pervasive negative mood that is clinging on for all its worth (and making mornings an especially horrible time...luckily I've not had much human contact during that time in recent weeks).

And I will continue to wrestle with the many different life, love, faith questions that I've been bombarding myself with in recent times. You see reading a book by a Christian who's honestly not afraid to wrestle with issues and being challenged to broaden my own horizons kinda got me thinking!

But I think I'm getting there, baby steps will soon turn to walking which will sometime in the future turn into something resembling 'normal' and maybe even beyond.
Goodness knows all the struggles in life tend to get you to places that you could never have dreamed about getting to without them...I've found those places to be the most rewarding.

Without them I wouldn't be sitting here, in this time and space typing this...SA, Cardiff, the lot.

Finally I will leave you with some words of a good friend who is currently having her own perspective shifted and changed..and who, today, inspired me imensely...

'If I believe in God, and Jesus who died for all I did wrong, I should risk all to see him glorified. The proof is in how I live.

God will judge ‘each person..according to what he has done’ Rev 20.13. What have you done for God?? We believe and as a consequence all our actions should be affected. He will judge you on your actions.
For me the answer was ‘I had done nothing’. I was living comfortably in the knowledge that I believed in Jesus therefore I was saved. Yes that is true. But we are not called just to believe, but to repent- which means to change your entire heart, your entire life, flip 180%.

Go God’s way in everything.

It is hard! The road is narrow. Do you go out of your way to serve him in Everything????
Get rid of all sin; suffer standing up for what you believe in.

How can you be saved just by saying there is an almighty God who sent his son to save and not change every aspect of your life?

I am challenged. You should be to.

God is passionate, he expects the best as a loving parent does, he desires that I seek to be more like him every day.
He wants all of me like a committed husband does, he doesn’t want the leftover bits that I share with everyone, or don’t care about.
He DOES NOT want the bits I have sorted and tidied so everyone thinks I am organised.

He wants the mess, the pain, the hurt. God wants 100% Kat. - I want a God who loves me like this.'

Idealisms and anger

2009-03-08T11:44:00.006Z

This baby was born early 2008:

at 24 weeks and 4days of gestation

4 DAYS after she could have been legally aborted in this country

Today she is healthy, developing slowly but well, happy and unbelievably loved

How is this limit legal????
Does life mean that little to our society now?
It simply makes my heart ache....one day the politicians will be forced to accept that the science and biology point to late abortions being inhumane, in my opinion there are aren't many abortions that aren't inhumane - but I doubt the politicians will ever have the guts to go that far!

I don't want to go into all the ins and outs of the abortion debate because it is a hugely emotional battle in which judgement needs to be avoided - and a simple love for everyone desperately needs to shine through.
That unborn babies, their mothers, the potential mothers and the mothers that never were need to be valued, loved and supported.

To start that chain-reaction of love that can change the world, one person at a time.

N.B. I don't know the gorgeous girl in the pictures - for her story (from her parents perspective) go to:
http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/
and
http://65roses4pattysue.com/

Thoughts about someday..

2009-03-07T17:26:00.000Z

I want somebody to sleep with the rest of my life and cuddle up during a movie on a couch.

Stay up all night talking about nothing.

Get lost in the woods together.

Challenge me, challenge him.

Talk about dreams, make dreams.

Have fights, the kind that only really matter just as long as you’re having them.

Someone I can wrestle with, you know, play hard sometimes and not worry about breaking a nail or an arm.

A guy who will bring me flowers, once in a while, maybe a rock too or a shell of some sort. Something he saw that made him think of me, made him think “this might make my girl smile” as he smiles to himself.

A guy who wants me, maybe even needs me, just a little, enough to hold onto me with everything he’s got.

Someday

Welcome to the real world she said to me, condescendingly.

2009-03-02T19:10:00.000Z

So, I've been re-acquainting myself with the hit TV show 'LOST' in recent weeks.
As usual its been one confusing story after another!

For those of you who are not aware LOST is a TV show which follows the lives of a group of people who are left stranded on a desert island after their plane crashed over 1000 miles off course.

But of course this is no normal island, it has: polar bears, hatches, scary black smoke 'monsters', other scary peoople living there who are working on some sort of hidden agenda. And now, some sort of ability to shift through time at random points due to some sort of electro-magnetic energy which the island posesses.
Some people are searching for the island, some have left and others are still there needing help.

Like I said, confusing!

Watching all this ridiculous yet addictive jumping through time I found myself wondering, as you do, what I would do if I could go back in time and change my actions...

What would I want to change?
In all fairness I can think of a fair few things I would want to tell myself - mainly just nuggets of wisdom and knowledge that I wish I had learnt sooner.

But would there be any point?

As soon as you change the parameters within which you make a decision - there is the possibility for the decision to change -- and then what would happen? even you, a person from the future doesn't know because you've lived through a different past to the one you find yourself directing your former self onto....how mind-boggling is that!?

I love time, how we put so much emphasis on being on time, setting alarms etc - when in fact the whole idea is simply bizarre - because as soon as you question the concept of time it

simply

falls

away

Bubbles

2009-02-22T23:17:00.001Z

Here is one of my poems I wrote back in 2006 on a family holiday... I was reading through some of my old journals and have been positively inspired by my 2006 self - which was a unexpected, but nice surprise!

It all starts with one tiny breath
Breathing life into a fragile form
Life takes hold
And the winds bear it slowly upwards
Bobbing carefree in the breeze

But this innocent life cannot fight against the frailties
and the weakness if the capsule
It bobs a little while longer
Then disappears, instantly invisible
As if your eyes have been deceiving you

Smiling I dip the wand back into the bottle
Taking a deep breath
I wait to be entranced by another.

This clock never seemed so alive

2009-02-19T03:13:00.000Z

So, it turns out that its still pretty 'dangerous' for me to reminisce about the adventure which i embarked on just under a year ago...

You see, I've just recently had the great privilege of some new technology landing on my desk-top (and that's the literal one not the ethereal one....)
Along with this technology came the opportunity to upload the pictures I've been carrying around on my memory stick since August onto a proper hard drive (yes, all 1,886 of them!)

This sequence of events ultimately led to me sitting in front of my computer watching a slideshow of the random assortment of photos that have been taken since April last year till now...now, what's wrong with that, right?!

Well, there's nothing especially wrong with it - it simply caused every single fibre of my being to ache for those experiences I had over 18 action-packed weeks in the stunning country of South Africa.

Watching all those beautiful, funny and (some) downright strange photos, set my mind a-racing...

What does it mean to have formed those relationships that mean so much?

What use is it to only be able to look at a picture of someone you've grown so fond of and only be able to imagine giving them a hug?

When that someone is not voluntarily separated from you..but rather the constraints of time, money and culture have propelled you forward. Was it pointless to invest your time, energy, fondness, friendship (and occasionally) love into that individual in that time and space?

Will you ever see these people again, to know the joy of looking in their eyes, giving them that hug, chatting and laughing (just like old times...)?

To be honest, its enough to break a heart.

So why do I/we bother?

Why does anyone, for that matter, who has made friends > become accustomed to someones company > relied on someone> learnt to love....
and and lost that relationship one way or another even bother to try again?

Have our evolutionary instincts not yet informed us that it would be better to stay apart??

Maybe we do it because...

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all." (Alfred, Lord Tennyson paraphrased by Samuel Butler)?

The feeling of friendship and closeness goes silently beyond our needs and desires and inexplicably touches our soul.
And whether or not we realise it at the time something shifts within our person and we are changed, for better, for worse by that person.

Following this I pondered on when/where/how I was ever going to see some of these smiling faces again.

For some of them, its easy - I will see plenty of those people that come to mind over the next few weeks.

But for those whom I am separated from by endless miles of soil and sea the answers don't come quite so easily....
I have no idea what the big-man-upstairs has planned for the next couple of years of this life - whether I will return to the continent of Africa, and, if I do return, whether it will be to those faces I grew to love or whether it will be to pastures new...

There is one thing I know though, whatever happens in this life I will see most of those faces when this is all over. To know that one day I will no longer have to carry the pain of separation and just spend time with people and never have to leave.

Some say I'm a fool....and sometimes I can begin to believe them - coz I'm so far from perfect.

And sometimes all I know having faith in a Father who loves me is the most reassuring thing there is to conceive. That his promises are sure, strong and have stood from generation to generation.

So tonight I go to sleep feeling heavy with memories of the past and full of hope and optimism for the future.

Tonight, I know that no matter how many people I will be forced to leave behind or choose to leave me - blazing their own trail into the night.
There is someone to pick me up, dust me off, mend my heart and send me off on the right path. He alone can do it, coz He's beyond anything I could dream up or imagine.

Being challenged....by Mark Foreman

2009-01-26T12:36:00.000Z

Sooo, I stumbled across this while looking for autobiographies to read as a part of my course and its really challenged me so I thought I'd share it!

(For more information on Mark Foreman log onto www.northcoastcalvary.org)

It's Risky To Be A Believer

Believers are in a difficult situation. The Jesus-given assignment to be salt and light in culture creates a serious dilemma for the believer. On the one hand, we are to follow Jesus down the path of internal transformation, becoming new people. On the other hand, we are to follow him down the path of outward transformation, bringing the message and the life of the kingdom into the world.

But because this world is broken, following him into the world may put us at risk. We may be misunderstood by believers, persecuted by others or exposed to temptations to compromise. This then places the internal work at risk. There is the real possibility of being tempted to return to the godless life that we left, in an attempt to help others. While we are behind enemy lines, believers are always at risk.

Certainly, recovering addicts need to stay away from the places of temptation until they can become strong in their new life. Alcoholics should stay away from liquor stores, bank robbers from banks, pot heads from their old friends and perhaps habitual liars from talking at all. But is it possible to escape the risk of being corrupted by the world while following Jesus "into all the world?"

Believers are not alone in their risk. Doctors and nurses risk catching the patient's disease. Narcotic officers are tempted to participate in the very trafficking they are trying to stop. Government officials are tempted to sellout their integrity for bribes while serving their country to legislate justice. All are susceptible to the very thing they want to transform. But luckily for us, a divine leader has gone before us.

This was the very risk the Son of God took when he came to this earth. By becoming one of us, he risked catching our contagious sinful behavior: "He was tempted at all points just as we are" (Hebrews 4:15). He not only died for our sin, he was also at risk to actually sin himself. Temptation is not temptation unless there is the real possibility of actually yielding to it. We sometimes like to think of Jesus as one who was impervious to actually sinning. This is not true. He was just as we are, just as susceptible, just as vulnerable, but without sin.

The risk is real. But we can't retreat. Retreating would be to withdraw from the very world God loves. Besides, the idea of withdrawing from society is a temptation itself. This is an ironic temptation. In the name of being righteous, some stop following Jesus into society.

And the more we have to risk, the stronger this temptation becomes. Put simply, it's the temptation to play it safe, to not risk it all by continuing to follow Jesus into untransformed places. The temptation is to protect my time, reputation, spouse, children, career, income and retirement for the "sake of the Gospel."

Further, to actually use God and the concept of righteousness as an excuse to not radically follow Christ into the dark corners of life. To back off from the world, while quoting Scripture about purity and safety, to support our lack of involvement.

The Pharisees had their excuses. Jesus' cavalier behavior with tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners threatened them. They had too much to lose to follow Jesus to Golgotha. They must have internally asked, "What would my friends in the Sanhedrin say? People might misunderstand." So leaders like Nicodemus met with Jesus secretly at night to avoid the gossip and ridicule.

It's easy for the protection of "what is ours" to become one of our highest values of life and to build scriptures around our protectionism and separatism. There is always a verse out of context to support anyone's thinking. Meanwhile, Wholly Jesus unswervingly moves forward, getting his hands dirty and asking us to do the same.

Interesting!

2009-01-25T22:58:00.001Z

You Are Jack

You are a natural but reluctant leader. People are drawn to you in times of crisis.

And while the role of leader is not something you're totally comfortable with, you will fight hard to keep it.

You are obsessed with fixing things and people. You can't rest until everything is better.

You have complicated ethics. Doing the right thing is important to you, even though other people may not understand your motives.

You are concerned with maintaining your stoic image. It hurts when other people see you suffer.

Deep down you are very moody. You tend to be unhappy, and you have a depressed, self-destructive streak.

Who Are You on LOST?

100 things about me.

2009-01-23T01:46:00.000Z

My name is Kathryn, but even my parents now call me Kat!
I am a Christian - saved by God’s grace through Jesus on the cross. I will never deserve His love, or be able to do anything to deserve it, but I rejoice that He loves me unconditionally anyway.
I love chocolate a lot more than is healthy.
I’m in my first year studying Occupational Therapy at Cardiff University.
No on ever knows what Occupational Therapy is and I’m bored of explaining it.
I’m soo not motivated when it comes to motivating myself
I would recommend a gap-year to anyone; it refreshes your perspectives
I have one younger sister, I love her a lot, but we get on a lot better when we’re not living under the same roof. I don’t think this is a bad thing.
I have two cats; Felix and Smokey. I miss them more than I miss my mum’s cooking when I’m at uni (and that’s saying something!)
I hated A-Levels and got bored of trying towards the end.
I should have chosen different ALevels, apart from psychology. I love psychology!
I lived in South Africa for eighteen weeks last year and parts of my heart are there forever, the experience has changed my life.
I love Africa and want to visit as many African countries as is financially viable until I find where I want to live.
Living in Africa has been a lifelong dream…I’ve only just started vocalising it. I’m pretty sure my parents wish I wouldn’t!
Skydiving was the most exhilarating experience I think I will ever participate in. There are no words to describe free-fall!
I have some friends in the States who I want to visit soon. More than anything.
It took me a while to learn and understand that the perfect church is for heaven. No human can get everything right all at once.
I love organising people (which I know is probably code for ‘I’m bossy’ but I try very hard not to be!)
People are often surprised when they see how messy my room is because they’ve perceived me as an organised person! I call it organised chaos. Lol.
I don’t really understand why drinking until you’re out of control is perceived as cool.
We all put limits on God somewhere along the line so that we can feel comfortable with ourselves. I wish we wouldn’t.
My favourite ever birthday party was my 16^th – all my closest friends and family in the back garden, messing around on an inflatable slide, which we accidentally tipped over while playing a game!
My first memory is being at a birthday party for an older family member in Germany when I was 3years old.
For most of my life I thought I was destined to be a doctor.
When I was 15 I honestly believed I was an introvert!
When someone initially invited me into a leadership role I thought they were crazy. Now I can’t imagine life without that part of me.
I love the complexity of the human brain – there’s no way we can ever fully understand it.
I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than a sunset and a smile on a child’s face.
I love laughing and wish that seriousness didn’t increase with age
I love my parents sooo much; even if the battle for independence blurs that sometimes.
I’ve realised that there is a difference between knowing about God and the things He has done for you and understanding/accepting them.
Famous people who have inspired me: Mother Teresa, Bono, Rachel Joy Scott (Columbine High 1999), Jeremy Camp, Switchfoot (both musicians/music groups)
Not-so-famous people who have inspired me: My mum&dad, Hannah W, Mark&Meg, Lou S, Rob&Deb, Rich&Lys, Team Wildcats, Edith and Rene, Nandi, Mark Russell.
I watch far too much TV
I spend far too much time on the internet
Nothing beats a balmy summer evening with a couple of beers and good company
I love having lots of photos of people I care about around me.
I can never keep in contact with the number of people I would like to and hope that none of the people I don’t keep in regular contact with me hold it against me.
I would rather watch the Paralympics than the Olympics.
This may be partly to do with the fact that I have a mild disability
But it never has and never will get in the way of anything I set my mind to.
I can talk for England
I’ve talked 3people to sleep during my lifetime. One of them on numerous occasions!!
I dislike clothes shopping, in fact, I dislike shopping
I enjoy dancing and don’t particularly care how ridiculous I look whilst doing so
I’m happy to go on a student night out in jeans and a t-shirt and have never understood the girls who are shocked by that.
I don’t think you need make-up to be beautiful, but the cosmetic companies would like you to believe that.
I worry that I might be being judgemental sometimes. But hate that because I know how horrible it can be when people judge me
I stress like mad if I think I’ve said something in the wrong way or its been taken the wrong way
I’m not going to have sex till I’m married
I prefer trains to buses
I’m stubborn
I’m a city girl
I love horse-riding. But horses scare me!?
I’m a saver not a spender
I’m not sure if I ever truly believed in Santa
I hate the gym
The hymn ‘How Great Thou Art’ nearly always makes me cry.
I’ve loved working with severely disabled children
I love dogs, but I jump when they bark – maybe its the idea of them barking scares me?!
I’m a very jumpy person and hate sudden loud noises
I often wish that I could write insightful, eloquent and expressive pieces of writing more often than I manage to!
I love writing poetry, this doesn’t make me good at it!
I prefer rugby to football
I made a list of five things I want to do in my life and am worried I’ve forgotten what the last two were.
I prefer a game of word disassociation to a game of word association.
I’m exceptionally random
I’m a girl, of course I have favourite baby names….
I hate balloons and fireworks
I love Monty Python
I hate getting electric/static shocks
I spend too much money on books I never get round to reading…though I always mean to
I rarely manage to motivate myself properly more than 10days before a big deadline and have had this problem for years.
I knew I wanted to come to Cardiff uni as soon as I visited in 2006
I love the stories that my grandparents tell me
People need to say it as it is
I eat all of an apple, except the little stalk at the top
I honestly like most genres of music.
However I’m rarely in the mood for listening to classic or listening to someone screaming their lungs out throughout an entire song.
‘The Notebook’ was the first film I properly cried at, aged 18….and unfortunately that seems to have opened the floodgates…
If I won the lottery (which is impossible as I never play) I hope I’d have the strength to overcome greed and give it all away.
There are certain songs which remind me of people, places and how I felt at that moment in time. And always will.
When I finished 7years of all-girls education I was a complete feminist. I don’t feel quite so strongly about some of those things now.
I’m a night person. Mornings are rubbish!
I can’t decide what length I prefer my hair.
I love hugs&cuddles and when you get to the stage when its OK to randomly hug a friend, just coz you feel like it.
I love getting stuck into a d&m (deep and meaningful conversation)
Hindsight is a beautiful thing.
I love driving and the freedom it gives me
I’m never as bored as when I’m halfway through a long-haul flight.
I’ve seen Switchfoot perform live once and wish I could see them live every night!
I think Year 11 was my favourite school year
Have you ever noticed that our dreams of the future never have any flaws in?!
Starting the job is always the hardest part
I love playing UNO and many other card/board games
I’ve developed an especial dislike for seagulls since they started waking me up early in the morning in Cardiff – I later tend to sleep through alarms.
That is NOT a way of asking for an alarm clock that sounds like a sea gull!
I hate uneven pavements.
I blink a lot when people take photos using flash!
100. I don’t ever want to live a mediocre life!.

#1

2008-12-25T18:07:00.001Z

Here's to the many philosophical, deep and meaningful and random thoughts that will follow!!
Happy Christmas!!